South Park: Kenny’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked (2023)

We all know and love Kenny McCormick as the quiet kid from South Park who is best friends with Cartman, Stan, and Kyle. Although Kenny doesn't say much, when he does get the chance to speak, his lines are usually deep and hilarious. During the first handful of seasons on the animated Comedy Central series, there isn't all that much to Kenny's character aside from the fact that he gets ripped on constantly for being poor and he frequently comes face to face with death. Yet as the series progressed, we truly got to know the mysterious Kenny McCormick and during that time he quickly became one of our favorite characters on the show.


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Although for the most part, we can barely understand Kenny, when he takes off that fluffy orange parka we are often met with serious words of wisdom. But what exactly are these supposed "wise words"? Read the list to find out!


South Park: Kenny’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked (1)

Cartman: I'm making the world a better place!

Kenny: For you! A better place for you!

These lines are exchanged as Cartman is dressed as The Coon (his unsuccessful superhero), while Kenny is disguised as Mysterion (the very successful superhero). Although Kyle is usually the one to point out all of Cartman's wrongdoings, when Kenny puts on his Mysterion disguise he allows himself to become much more verbal and opinionated with Cartman (which probably has something to do with the fact that we can finally hear him speak from beyond the muffling of his usual parka).

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Mysterion is set on making the world a better place like a proper superhero, whereas Cartman, of course, just wants fame and attention. What else is new?

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South Park: Kenny’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked (2)

During the scene where Kenny says this line, the boys try to convince Cartman to give Kyle one of his kidneys because they have the same blood type. When Cartman says he will only do it for $10 million, Stan gets furious.

Stan: Dude, one of your friends is going to die! Don't you see how serious this is?

Kenny: It's not that f***ing serious...

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Of course, Kenny says this line because he dies pretty much all the time. His constant death used to be a more common running-gag on the show, occurring in nearly every episode, yet nowadays his deaths are a rarer occurrence. In some episodes, the boys are fully aware of his many deaths, yet in other episodes such as "Kenny Dies," it is as though he has never been killed before and his death is taken very seriously. Most of the time though, the boys associate Kenny's death with something as mundane as their friend catching a cold. It's just all a part of South Park's nonchalant charm!


South Park: Kenny’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked (3)

Mr. McCormick: Kenny, wasn't that your fat, racist, foul-mouthed friend, Eric Cartman?

Kenny: Mmm, Hmm.

By this point, Kenny, Kyle, and Stan are so used to Cartman's nonsense that his horrendous behavior barely fazes them. They have been dealing with his absurd bigotry for over 22 years now and as much as they attempt to get Cartman to change his ways, his cruelty seems to run through his veins. Not even the best counselor in the world could alter Cartman's evilness (as we've seen for ourselves in the episode "Tsst"), so the boys have somewhat just accepted the fact that their "friend" Cartman is a naturally terrible human being.


South Park: Kenny’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked (4)
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"What the f**k is he doing with stuffed animals and tea?"

Kenny inaudibly muffles this under his orange park when he sees Eric Cartman, aka the psychopath, secretly having a tea party with all of his stuffed animals. The boys are shocked to see their friend who boasts such a big game as an evil mastermind doing something as innocent as having a tea party with his childhood toys.

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The contrast in Cartman's behavior from absurdly heinous to wildly wholesome is ultimately what makes him even scarier because you never know what side of Eric Cartman you're gonna get. Kenny's reaction is hilarious because he is so rebellious in comparison to Cartman (at least as it seems in this scene).


South Park: Kenny’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked (5)

Stan: Kyle's gonna die, Kenny! Herbal medicine is going to kill my best friend! *cries*

Kenny: That's it! I'm sick of this bull s**t. Screw you guys, I'm going home...

This line is usually reserved for Eric Cartman (more so in the earlier seasons than as of late), but Kenny also got the chance to say this line during a scene where Stan starts crying over the fact that Kyle is supposedly going to die. Kenny then becomes sick of Stan getting all up in arms over Kyle's fate when he never seems to care if Kenny dies. Poor kid! It must truly suck when you have to die all the time only to come back to see that your friends couldn't care less that you left them.

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(Right after he says this line, he gets killed by a piano falling down on him).


South Park: Kenny’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked (6)

Stan: Good job Cartman, you killed Kyle!

Kenny: You bastard!

Cartman: Well he shouldn't have called me fat!

Stan: Why the hell not, it's like calling the sky blue.

Kenny is usually not around to say such cuss words because he is most often dead whenever the line is uttered, but now it is his chance to say the words that are usually reserved for Kyle. One of the most hilarious aspects of South Park is how nonchalant it is when it comes to death. It is all part of its dark humor, making South Park one of the funniest dark comedies of all time.


South Park: Kenny’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked (7)

"I assume you must be Eric Cartman because you are fat."

Kenny says this line when he is in his Mysterion disguise as he is conversing with "The Coon" who is, in fact, Eric Cartman. It's hilarious to see the stark contrast between Cartman's superhero alongside Kenny's because when Kenny gets all of the praise as Mysterion (and people genuinely have no idea who Mysterion is), Cartman is seen as an utter joke as The Coon. When it comes to The Coon, no one sees him as disguised because they know that Eric Cartman is the only morbidly obese kid in their fourth-grade class.


South Park: Kenny’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked (8)
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"I can't die. I've experienced death countless times. Sometimes I see a bright light, sometimes I see Heaven or Hell. But eventually, no matter what, I wake up in my bed wearing my same old clothes. And the worst part? Nobody ever remembers me dying. I go to school the next day and everyone is all "Oh hey, Kenny." Even if they've seen me get decapitated with their own eyes. So you want to whine about curses? You're talking to the wrong f***ing cowboy."

This line is both hilarious and at the same time wildly heartbreaking because we finally get to go deep with Kenny McCormick and see how he really feels about his constant death. But more importantly, we find out his pure annoyance and sorrow when it comes to how his friends react to his terrible fate. He finally calls them out and it's one of the best moments in South Park history considering how he has been dying over and over again since the '90s.


South Park: Kenny’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked (9)

"At the dawn of war, I stand alone, looking out at what would be the last battlefield, for winter is coming and I am a princess..."

This line is said by Kenny in the Game of Thrones-themed episode "A Song of [Butt] and Fire." The fact that Kenny took on the role of Khaleesi was just too good to be true and fans of both South Park and Game of Thrones became obsessed with his character, Princess Kenny. Princess Kenny was carried on to the South Park video game "Stick of Truth" and is one of the most beloved alter egos on the show.


South Park: Kenny’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked (10)

Kenny: As for Butters, he is quickly learning the ways of his ancestors and seems to be feeling better with every passing day. He still seems quite angry at times, but luckily his ceremony will finally take place on the morrow.

NEXT: South Park: Cartman's 10 Funniest Quotes

Stan: On the morrow? What the f**k is wrong with Kenny?

Kenny says these words in the episode "Going Native" and it's always hilarious to hear what Kenny has to say because we rarely get to hear from the kid. Yet when he does speak, he is constantly hilarious and he is secretly a total oddball who says things like "On the morrow." What would South Park be without the mysterious Kenny McCormick?

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